Anal Sex Hurts, But It Doesn’t Have To.


By Brandon Jamil

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The allure of anal sex has been a taboo topic for decades, and yet anal sex is widely sought after. Men, women, heterosexual, and homosexual individuals and couples have indulged in the art of anal sex. This taboo and alleged sin has sparked an intrigue; dare I say conquest to understand anal sex.

It’s common to feel intimidated by anal sex because there’s a lot of heavy lifting and maintenance that goes into the deed. I can’t tell how you many times one of my beloved girlfriends ask me how to prepare for anal sex? Better yet, how to help her man prep for anal sex. Of course these conversations happen over many glasses of wine—they think I forget the conversation the next day. But, I digress. 

First, I want to express to every single person out there: It’s okay to be a complete slut for your partner. Yes I said it. Any preconceived ideas about being a morally good person; goes right out the window and sent directly to a nun. Now that we let go of our shame, lets dig in and delight in our carnal pleasures.

When participating in anal sex you need to purchase a fleet (from Walgreens, Walmart, Target). Fleeting is used to remove any fecal from the anal cavity. It’s best to use it after you’ve had a bowel movement. If you eat fairly healthy and fiber is apart of your daily diet, you won’t have to fleet as much. You can simply have a bowel movement, and take a shower afterwords.

While showering you will need to do a quick cleanse in the anal cavity. This is to ensure that you don’t have any lingering fecal matter inside of you. You want to make sure that the anal cavity is completely clean, because if fecal matter gets indie of the penis, it can cause infections, and pain for your pain—we don’t want that. 

Next, we want to make sure we’re using a quality lubricant. Not lotion or saliva. The anus tissues are very thin and sensitive, the tissues tear easy and that can cause an entire different problem.

My recommendation would be “Gun Oil” which you can get at any sex shop. I don’t recommend water based products, because the water based products can dry you out. If you can, look for silicon and oil based lubricants. Silicon and oil based lubricants make your body feel comfortable with your mans member entering your body.

As we all know, the anus is far from a vagina. You can’t penetrate without giving it some tlc, it must be treated delicately, at-least in the beginning when your body is adjusting to anal sex. I recommend taking your time, and making foreplay a priority (don’t get shy here. Make him perform oral sex on your anus, trust me you’ll thank me later).

Also, if you have a low tolerance for pain, I’d recommend taking an aspirin one hour before. When your man inserts his member into your anus, make him take his time. Again, he needs to take his time. You want to enjoy it. 

Don’t attempt to mimic the porn stars. It takes awhile to learn the tricks of the trade, and at this moment you want your body working with you—not against you. It’s important you learn how to connect with your breath. Here’s a small trick that goes along way: lay on your stomach (face down) and completely relax.

As you’re breathing and completely relaxed his member will enter your body without resistance. The more resistance you have, the more painful the experience will be. Once your body has adjusted to his member, you can then enjoy different positions as the session continues. 

It’s also important to note that you must know how much penis you can take. Starting off, I wouldn’t recommend anything over 7 inches (at first). Lastly, don’t skip the fleeting process. At-least make sure you have a bowel movement. If you choose to engage in anal sex without clearing your colon, honey you will be in pain, and you will be self conscious about defecating on your mans member. We don’t want the embarrassment for you. From personal experience, it can kill the entire mood.

No man wants fecal matter on his member. However, keep in mind accidents can happen. Sometimes after cleaning the anus, you can still have fecal matter. Make sure your man understands this process, and don’t beat yourself up if you have an accident. Tip: If the mood gets dampened, both of you take a shower together, and perform oral sex on him. That will restore the mood. 

2 comments on “Anal Sex Hurts, But It Doesn’t Have To.”

  1. Thank you for this post! I like anal and I feel ashamed that I have not heard about fleeting until now. Luckily I’ve never had an accident but I will be adding this to my prep.

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