By Brandon Jamil
It’s said that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But what is the standard of true beauty? Today we’re captivated by muscles and nude bodies that run rampant on Instagram and throughout our social media sites. We’re in competition with the latest body trend, workout regimen, meal plan and of course dick print size. Believe it or not, there’s Instagram male models who stuff their underwear, to make their penis size appear larger, and we click the like button and indulge. Not to mention how vocal most millennials are about sex, sexuality. We’re far from shy when it comes to sharing what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. Some say that millennials have completely lost touch with reality— life is more than a click of a button. We’re told to settle for mediocrity, not care about our personal needs, and simply follow tradition. But what happens when we follow tradition and we find ourselves conflicted with social norms alongside our personal needs?
I spoke with a girl friend of mine last night and we began discussing body dysmorphia. She asked me what I felt about loving a man with a small penis. At first, I was a bit defensive, because I consider myself enlightened and I don’t pass judgement—I love everyone just as they are. Of-course my friend laughed and proceeded to call out my bullshit. She admitted that the question wasn’t truly about my perspective. It was about her boyfriend.
I gasped. I paused. I listened.
My friend went on to explain to me that she loves her boyfriend, and she doesn’t have intentions to leave him—anytime soon. Usually when our friends say that they’re not planning on leaving their boyfriends, we know that it’s just a matter of time. My friend said it all started with the idea that she should try something new. You know, giving the nice guy a chance. This time she wanted to be done with the jerks and assholes, I guess she thought smaller penis size meant the better quality of the man. Which makes sense, he has a small penis, so he must be humbled.
Despite the alleged changes, and new mindset my friend had integrated, she’d confessed that she is miserable in her relationship. I was flabbergasted, because up until now, she’d paraded her boyfriend around town, and she appeared to be gleeful. My friend expressed how depressing she feels, because her boyfriend’s small penis doesn’t satisfy her. As I’m listening to her, she begins sobbing, because she feels as if she’s betraying him. It was clear that she felt guilty confessing her emotional discontentment to me. Being placed in the middle of their situation, I tried my best to reroute her to communicate with her boyfriend. I personally don’t believe in being in the middle of someone else’s drama, and HONEY I am not being paid for offering a counseling session to my friend—and they say that’s what friends are for,
So, I got to thinking about my experiences with small penises, and how I reacted to the situation. I recall, a time when I met a young man years ago—he pulled his pants down, and thought he was king Kong. He had the confidence of warrior, and spirit of a king. Needless-to-say, I was extremely turned off, and dis-continued my sexual engagement with him. Honestly, I didn’t have the heart to flat out tell him—that his three- inch penis did nothing for me—at all. Keep in mind this guy was a casual hookup, and I refused to accept his phone calls. But what happens when we involve ourselves with a partner that we’re sexually incompatible? We’ve already committed to this person, and created parts of our lives with him… I mean what would we say to our social- circle? “I’m leaving him, because of his sexual performance.” We keep those things near and dear to our hearts. We don’t usually broadcast those things.
I so badly wanted to ask my friend why she proceeded with her relationship, when she knew that she wouldn’t be sexually fulfilled. I guess to her credit, the man that she’s in relationship with is a big deal; he’s an attorney who happens to own an investment company for real estate. Why would she leave? She lives like a princess. She stated that she tried to spice things up. Spicing things up ended in disaster and when she’d confront it…some-how it’d backfire on her. The moment that she brings up wanting a change or communicating fantasies—he gets aggressive and blatantly yells at her to find a man with a big penis; in his words “since that’s all modern-day women want”—OUCH!
Men with smaller penises often suffer from what I like to call: “small dick syndrome.” Which is like little man syndrome. They’re very sensitive about their penis, my guess is it stems from childhood, or rejection issues. HERE’S THE THING: We’ve all met a man with a small penis that has pleasantly surprised us. Men with smaller penises must do more to stimulate and assist with orgasm—in comparison to their well-endowed male counterparts.
Personally, I don’t think it’s selfish to give someone the boot, because their sexual performance is trash. Of course, this is after we’ve tried everything our bodies can possibly muster. I firmly believe that our sexual needs, desires matter. More importantly, it’s imperative to make sure we’re fulfilled in those areas—without guilt or shame. Love isn’t selfish, and when someone dismisses or blames you for their lack, and inability to perform sexually—they can’t possibly love you. This is not to say, that frustration and anger can’t ensue, because the reality is…relationships are work, and devotion. The moment someone gaslights us, and tries to manipulate us, it’s time to go. I am not here to walk on eggshells for no one’s ego or become their external emotional band-aid.
I couldn’t imagine growing old and being sexually miserable and deprived from my desires. When we’re twenty and thirty somethings—we’re supposed to create and gather memories, because guess what? By time we get into our seventies…We’ll wear diapers and forget what to do with our own body parts. What a waste of life. When did being nice and polite get us anywhere? Say it with me and for the snobs in the back seats: WE WANT OUR ORGASM AND WE WON’T SETTLE FOR MEDICORE PENIS!
When it comes to sex—the theory of millennials being overly sexualized isn’t true. We have an entirely different paradigm when relating to the world at large and our society. We now understand that we’re responsible for our happiness, and we must choose partners that add value to our lives. Unlike our grandparents that stayed married and in relationships despite being unhappy, we don’t have to make that choice. We can have fulfilling sex that goes against social norms. Hell, if we want, we can have two partners that add fulfillment and value if we want to. In the end, it comes down our ability to attract partners that are willing and able to meet us, and work with us to see our relationship goals come into fruition.