The Beggar: A Short Story.

 

Written By: Brandon Jamil.

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Dorian finished his relationship coaching session and decided that he would purchase all the latest books on how to get into a relationship, and how to date successfully. Dorian now gleeful that he can turn over a new leaf in his love life. “This is astounding,” he thought to himself. Not only can he begin to love the way he want’s he will see the years of research, and transformation play out in his highest good. Dorian traveled home with his new book, also his renewed perspective on love.

The moment Dorian arrived at his condo he felt that it was best to test out his skills by downloading the newest dating apps. After all it took five minutes to download, load a picture and fill out the general information, credit card portion. “I might as well begin reading this material as I wait to get a response.” So, he waited, and waited, and wait some more. To no avail Dorian finds himself stuck as he had been over the last several years. Night after night he sits in bed with his phone hoping that he will get noticed by the love of his life. He hopes that the man of his dreams reads the general about me section on his profile and somehow, they both can be blissfully happy together.

As time passes Dorian by he becomes depressed, starts gaining weight, and is not productive with his work. The only thing that matters to him right now is finally proving every past lover wrong. “Now I am worthy of love, and they will all hate themselves once they see how happy I am.” It was in this moment Dorian knew that he was on the right path and nothing could stop him. Finally, Dorian receives a new message. So, he opens the dating app on his phone, and it turns out to be a spam message from the app sales department.  Dorian enraged throwing his phone across the room. “I’ve tried everything, I’ve made the perfect profile, I went to therapy, I did coaching sessions, and I’ve read all the damn books on love. Why can’t someone just love me? It’s not hard to let’s say follow through on dating plans and not flake! It’s not hard to just be honest and simple. Why must everyone in this damn community have unreasonable standards that they can’t even hold up too? Why do these people choose to lie? I just don’t understand this shit! Meanwhile a new fucking celebrity finds love, how ironic.”

Dorian stormed out of his condo in a fury, which lead him to walk downtown. As Dorian approached the subway station he can see a homeless man rummaging through the trash can, and relentlessly asking pedestrians for money. “It is so sad to watch this man beg for money. He is more than capable of getting a job and changing his entire life. There is no excuse to at-least not try. What a pathetic existence.” Minutes go by, and an older man walked up to the homeless man. “I refuse to give you money, but I can buy you a hot meal, and I can help you find a place to sleep tonight.” The homeless man refused the old man’s help and stormed off mumbling to himself. Dorian looked at the old man and began speaking. “You know you can’t those people. None of them want the help, plus any money you give them just goes to alcohol or drugs. He is more than capable gaining employment and finding shelter.” The old man looked at Dorian and said: “We’re all beggars at some point in our life. Some people beg for money, some people beg for food, some people beg for love and affection, and some beg for attention. They can’t see; it is the act of begging that keeps the very thing they desire away from them. Whatever we want is always right in front of us if we can only look at it right. The moment you allow your mind to find its own paradise there is no need to beg. You then understand begging within itself was an illusion too.”

The old man walks away before Dorian elicits a response. Dorian heads to his condo and arrives about fifteen minutes later. Suddenly he realizes the books, coaching sessions where meaningless. There is no calculation with connection; either it is, or it isn’t. Love cannot be timed, love cannot be tamed nor controlled. And when we try to contain it, love somehow flees away from us as a thief in the night. As Dorian understands the rhythm of the heart, he too can see how love was always with him, and it was never a force to chase. Indeed he must now choose to surrender to the love he already knows to be true.

©2018 Brandon Jamil All Rights Reserved.

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