By: Brandon Jamil
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Placing my head in Andre’s lap, he lifts my head up and crosses his leg. I sit up and attempt to grab my lovers hand, and he pulls his hand away. I glance over at Andre; he’s completely inconsolable. I review everything I’ve said or done within the past weeks, and I can’t think of anything that has gone wrong. Apart of me wants to reach over and kiss him, however I know my concerns, worries mean nothing to him. I contemplate speaking with him once the movie is over, but I know he’ll become despondent. The saddest thing in life is knowing the person you’d give your entire life up for doesn’t even love you. The most frightening thing in life is accepting it and having the courage to move on. Andre has been my lover for three years. At times I question if there is another man. I question his loyalty, and I fear being humiliated by someone who is better than me.
Once the movie ends Andre and I finish our wine, and we both get up from the sofa. Andre heads into the bathroom to take a shower, and I place the wine glasses into the kitchen sink. As Andre begins to run the water in the shower I can hear his phone notifications. I walk into our bedroom to silence his phone, but I notice an unknown number texting him. “It’s probably one of his friends,” I tell myself as I walk back into the living room. Minutes go by and I can’t shake the unsettled feeling in my solar plexus. Thus, my curiosity nudged me to confront my fear. I approach Andre’s phone and I take it off the charger. I stand in the middle of our bedroom bemused as to what to do. The messages that I hold in my hand will either affirm the truth I have felt for weeks now. Or it will revel that I don’t trust the man I love. In either case I will be destroyed.
Frantically viewing his text messages there are naked photos of a random man, and Andre has sent his nude photos as well. My hands begin shaking, but I hold on to the phone and sit down on the bed to read the message thread. I see they’ve met and spent time together. This unknown man has stated he is in love with Andre. I take Andre’s phone and march towards the bathroom door. Though, I am flabbergasted and I decide to go outside and smoke a cigarette before saying anything. How could he do this to me? How could he lie to my entire family and say that he would love me, and respect me? My mother sat him down and discussed love for months when we first met. He told my mother that a heart as delicate as mine needs a hero and he’d never betray it.
Finally, Andre comes out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist. He walks directly towards the night stand where his phone is usually at. He notices it is not there and he walks outside to me on the balcony. When Andre opens the screen door I shove his phone into his chest. Andre looks at his phone and notices that it’s unlocked, and his messages are opened. I say nothing and take my clothes off the hangers and place them into the suitcase. Andre grabs my suitcase and throws it into the living room. In a fury he takes his hands and begins choking me. I respond by spitting in his face and pushing him off me. Andre then proceeds to charge at me with full force and he throws punches. I block his punches and throw him to the ground and get on top of him. Andre weighing more he’s able to push me off him and pins me down staring me in the eyes so cold; I see no soul.
I take my hands and push his head up while he keeps my body locked down. Andre gets off me and runs into the kitchen. Before he reaches the kitchen, I grab my gun from the top of the closet and take off the safety. Andre finds his way back to the bedroom, but before he enters completely I place the gun in the back of belt. Andre walks near me with a knife and begins to swing it at me. “Andre you don’t want to do this,” I said. Andre raged, he chooses to continue and begins laughing. He then runs towards me with the knife, and I pull the gun out and shoot him in the chest.
Andre collapsed on the floor with an open wound through his chest. I stand over Andre’s body as he struggles to takes his last breath. I stare into his eyes with utter disgust until he is completely lifeless. Placing my gun back into the case, so I grab some of my clothes and place them into a bag and leave the house calmly. I should be afraid that I murdered my lover, although I feel numb. I have no pity for his soul that Is his karma and me running away as a criminal is mine.
©2018 Brandon Jamil All Rights Reserved.