He Didn’t Call You When He Said He Would.

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By: Brandon Jamil

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“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

-Maya Angelou

We heard her right! When someone shows us exactly who they are it’s our responsibility to believe them. All of us have been in a situation where the man of our interest stated, “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Days can go by and you still haven’t heard from him; leaving you questioning why he chose to not call. It’s natural to assume he got busy, tied up with work, perhaps the gym or some other aspect of his life. And so, we so desperately try to convince ourselves that he is just busy, and we will hear from him. In the interim we begin to research the proper reaction to a man not keeping his word. We sift through the many articles that suggest, it’s okay to not panic; because he is busy after all. Other articles state that in- order for him to want us we must pretend he doesn’t exist and when he does finally reach out we must not answer his text message or phone call immediately. For the basic, that is an answer that works and is suitable for them. The basic will accept that and will play this game, and it’s this basic person that enables the male ego to continuously perpetuate their vile behavior. You won’t!!! And here’s why…

The matter is much deeper than him not calling. The heart of this matter is truly about his inability to keep his word. Even if he does choose to get into contact with us, we’re now we’re viewing him in a different light. Why would any of us invest in someone who can’t keep their word? Why should we be subjected to his limitations? We shouldn’t. Which is why I have personally made it my mission to encourage, inspire and help feminine energy realize that we know longer must accept non-sense. As a golden rule of thumb: We know longer accept men who don’t value our time. Our time is a precious gift that we’re giving them. They made their choice by dishonoring our time. We followed suit and decided to honor ourselves to ourselves. Our world does not and will not stop because of him. We use his lower levels of consciousness and continuously invest more into ourselves and level up.

Know your worth

It’s important to understand your worth. You must understand that you’re not basic, and you deserve to attract someone in your life that will honor their own words. And if they can’t for ANY reason do so, it’s simply not your problem or concern why. Reading this it may come off as being bitchy. Good! I hope that we all take this information and stride. If he simply can’t honor his intentions then, we’re not obligated to wait around questioning and wondering. The first time he called, or we went on a date; that was his choice then to put forth the effort to show us that he is worthy of us.

We are the prize. You must remember this. Many men whom suffer from fuck boy syndrome will attempt to delude you into thinking you shouldn’t expect a man whom is honorable. Society and media has set a tone against the feminine that we’re beneath and somehow of lesser value than the man. Many of the members of our collective feminine have bought into this notion and participate in the fuckery.

How do I level up?

Recall the moment you waited by the phone. Now remember the thoughts you held about yourself, the excuses you provided him, the time and energy you spent pondering if you should call or text him. Then take a moment to go back into your emotional data bank. You’re now going to ponder on what you felt about yourself. You can take a moment and write this down, so you can channel yourself with direction. This is person you’ve become, and it’s all due to a man who has no respect for you. Have no shame. I have been here, wore the shirt and bought the store. This changed everything in my dating life.

The person you once knew is going to die and if you’re attached to the image of being the “Look at me- pick me person” This might be painful. Focus on the bigger picture of the new person that’s emerging. You can only accomplish this by being active in creating yourself into the person you want to be. You begin to level up practicing radical self-care, this includes pampering yourself (even if you can’t afford to go out there’s always avenues you can practice this in the comforts of your home.) Leveling up means that you place your attention and time on people who respect your time. You no longer have time nor concern for anyone whom doesn’t demonstrate that from the beginning.

You’re no longer a puppet on a string, waiting for someone to come and play with you and direct your moves. Leveling up for us means that we continuously give the love we yearn for from a man to ourselves. You place importance on your schedule every week. Every Sunday it’s your job to fill your schedule with activities that bring you joy. This doesn’t have to be anything jaw dropping. It can be something as simple as making time to read a novel you’ve been putting off, it could be cooking new foods, exploring different restaurants that you’ve thought about. Also, yes go shopping for yourself. Hell, if you can’t afford name brand items you go to the thrift store. You can ALWAYS find name brand designers at the thrift store. Again, don’t feel shamed or turn your nose up. America’s Next Top Model host, Executive producer Tyra Banks once said, “You have to know how to put rags on and sell it.” You’re not chasing the illusion of beauty, you’re embodying the beauty that exist within yourself.

How Do I stand In My Worth?

When you know your worth and value you don’t settle for less, you don’t tolerate less, and you don’t invite less into your life and participate with it. It comes down to how you choose to see yourself and ultimately how you treat yourself. So, we begin with asking ourselves what we need, what we value, and what we require for another person to come into our life.  We must begin to understand the value in our life, how we choose to create value. When we create value within our life, we have more to protect, and cherish. Not every man is qualified to enter our life. This may seem harsh to some. But let’s look at this like a career. When submitting our resume, and showing up to the interview, the new potential employer has screened you to before inviting you to an interview. You must be worthy of this position. We must treat men the same way.

How Do I handle A Flake in the future?

When you’re busy focusing on your value and making that your priority, it won’t affect you. In most cases you’ll have a few men wanting to invest in your time simply because you’re showing that you place more value in yourself vs his whereabouts. You’re not the basic waiting on him to simply call or falling apart because of his choices. You simply accept where he is at in his life and release yourself from this bond. Due to releasing yourself from his own limitations, you’ve allowed room to attract people who understand the value of investment.

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